A Guide for Plant Parents
- Excerpt from Boys with Plants Magazine – Issue 03
What do the planets have in store for us this year – and our plants!? Love, health, work, friendship are all very interesting, but what really matters to plant parents? Will we find that elusive exotic, overwater a favorite peace lily, or blow a month’s wages on a variegated Monstera? Green thumb, Gemini Georgia has your green stars for 2021.
Written by Georgia de Musso @_daipiantala_
Mar 21 – Apr 19
Good news for you, Mars, your planet, will never be retrograde in 2021. This should make you more capable of controlling your outbursts of anger I bet your plants will be glad not to hear.
This year is rich in exciting news for such a resourceful sign. Success is guaranteed in any aspect of your life, so, if there’s a plant you never dared to take on because you were scared of failure, this is the right moment to go all the way with it.
Summer will be perfect for cementing platonic love affairs, with both people and plants. Now, we all know what an impetuous, passionate lover you can be, but please, keep an eye on your wallet and try not to go bankrupt buying all those plant crushes.
Apr 20 – May 20
No, it’s not just a quote from David Bowie, but it’s your 2021. Uranus will be in your sign for the third year in a row, pushing you to go beyond your own limits and achieve extraordinary results.
I can picture you guys designing the perfect formula for the best Phyto stimulant ever. You’ll probably feel the need to bring change and innovation into your life, moving all of your plants into Semi-hydro LECA, as your best friend suggested ages ago, and you refused to listen.
Speaking of changes, Jupiter in Pisces will make you, for once, capable of listening to other people without speaking over them. Let’s see if your new empathetic skills will work with plants too.
May 21 – Jun 20
A year full of possibilities and success for you moody guys. You can start thinking about your project of capitalizing on all the cuttings you compulsively bought during lockdown. After all, your sign is capable of selling anything!
Spring comes with lots of changes, as if being an air sign wasn’t destabilizing enough, Saturn will make everyone impatient. You’ll reconsider your love for ‘that specific plant’ that made your days painful and uncertain, give it away and buy a Syngonium instead. Jupiter will make your creativity explode, please remember to clean up after your crazy crafting with sphagnum moss to fight your boredom.
By the end of 2021 you will reconsider everything about your plant growing hobby. Don’t give up, you’ll change your mind in a week or so.
Jun 21 – Jul 22
Great start for the first part of the year, with Mars and Uranus lining up as perfect energy chargers for water signs.
If any plant loss happens during winter, you’ll be able to get over it soon, which, in the case of an emotional ‘cry baby’ Cancerian, might take a month, or two. The rest of the year will bring you peace and satisfaction, which, unfortunately doesn’t mean you’ll win any plant giveaways, but at least you’ll finally be able to make something flower.
Your plants will be your greatest ally throughout the year, as you’ll discover the benefits of having more time for yourself and your passions. As well as cleansing yourself of harmful relationships.
Jul 23 – Aug 22
Plant glory is finally coming my friend, like a magic balm for your Leonine attention seekers’ soul.
The synchronic conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in Aquarius will influence your sign in unexpected ways, revolutionizing your goals, and pushing you towards accomplishment.
If you are brave, Spring will reward you with plenty of new growth, but remember, as difficult as it can be for you, it’s important that you stay humble. Or you’ll attract the jealousy of all your planty friends.
The second half of the year will be even more exciting, you’re sure to overcome every challenge. For what I see in the sky, I expect you guys to be able to succeed in reproducing Philodendron spiritus-sancti in tissue culture.
Aug 23 – Sept 22
As for it is for Cancerians, the alignment between Mars and Uranus will charge you up with energy, exasebating your natural tendency towards meticulousness, especially in the first part of the year.
It is possible that you will find yourself wearing a hazard suit and a gas mask, trying to produce your own personal potting mixes and fertilizers. Attentively considering each chemical component; pH, etc. Scaring to death whoever you share the flat with.
Jupiter in Aquarius will make you more sympathetic toward the people you love, improving relationships with family. This is the perfect time for them to accept your extravagant, immoderate obsession with plants. Try to make the most of it before Christmas, to make sure they all know what presents to buy… you know what I mean.
Sept 23 – Oct 22
Two amazing allies are working for you this year, and no, I’m not referring to Mrs Growlight and Mr Humidifier.
As an air sign, Saturn will provide you with a revolutionary boost. You irresolute guys move furniture and plants around like crazy beasts whenever you feel the need to change something in your life, which happens, let’s be honest, on a monthly basis. Jupiter will support you for most of the year bringing good luck, creativity and lots of new projects, while Mercury will favor intense intellectual activity.
Unfortunately, these two things combined might result in you guys being even nerdier than usual. Possibly studying ancient botanical atlases at night, but hey, you’ll probably find solutions for so many plant problems, so I’d say it’s definitely worth it.
Oct 23 – Nov 21
Remember that friend of your’s that accidentally broke a leaf off your Monstera Deliciosa back in 2008? Of course you do, resentful water sign!
Bad news, Mars’s transit in the first part of the year will lead you through a very heated period. You might be tempted to take revenge on them by destroying their whole plant collection. The synchronic conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in quadrature with Uranus will later lead you to a new way of perceiving yourself, and others, significantly transforming your relationships with family, partners… and plants.
Everything is going to change. Plants you used to snub will suddenly look valuable to you and vice-versa, in a perfect imitation of an air sign. I guess the Hoya fever will hit you guys harder than anyone else.
Nov 22 – Dec 21
A great year for you guys! Jupiter’s influence will be positively strong all year and will bring even more dynamism in your life, as if there wasn’t a little too much already.
Together with Saturn, in fact, it will make your head explode with new unconventional ideas and projects. I am seriously worried what kind of freaking potting mix you’ll want to experiment with this time. Venus transiting in your sign brings peace and harmony with the people you love, as well as some love at first sight. For plants, obviously.
So, if you’re worried about your wallet, because you spent too much money this year, avoid Facebook plant exchange groups, auctions, Instagram flash sales and plant fairs. This way you’ll be sure not to see anything you won’t be able to resist.
Dec 22 – Jan 19
Get used to slow Pluto transiting in your sign, my friend, it won’t go away until 2023. The planet of regeneration and internal transformations will lead you through a personal evolution, shaking your life, your soul, and your plant habits.
You’ll probably turn into the hardest-working version of self and start building an indoor greenhouse in your living room. In general, this will be the perfect year for you to reap what you sowed in 2020.
A normal person would be worried about this, because of the lack of opportunities we all had, global pandemics, lockdowns, but we are not normal people, we are plant lovers. All the rewards we want to reap come from our own plant shelves, and I expect yours to be full of lush and wonder.
Jan 20 – Feb 18
Jupiter and Saturn in conjunction in your sign will bring decisive events and significant challenges to be faced during the first part of the year. This might be scary for most, but not for a resourceful, resilient Aquarius.
Thrips invasions, watering problems, anything could slow down your growing, but nothing will stop you! And if it does, rely on your friendliness and gift of being surrounded by people who love you, to help you through. Speaking about people you love, this year, you might want to work on your inability to express your feelings for them… and for your plants, of course.
Remember those crazy people who spend hours talking to their green friends? Stop pretending you’re not one of them, we all know what a romantic in disguise you are.
Feb 19 – Mar 20
A year of growth for you guys. You and your plants start with a vital recharge, offered by Mars and a short transit of Venus in your sign around March. Make the most of it, as you’ll need it all year.
Neptune, your planet, is fostering creativity and exacerbating your natural tendency towards absent-mindedness and walking around with your head in the clouds. You know who might suffer the most? Your plants, of course! As always, they’ll help you keep your feet on the ground… as long as you remember to take care of them.
You might find it useful to get better organized, alarms, diaries and excel pages to keep track of their needs and progresses (I’m exaggerating, but you never know… a Virgo friend might help you with that).