Nudity-friendly plants

Nudity-friendly plants

I’m sure that the tremendous success of Boys with Plants is due to our exhibitionist natures! We don’t just love our plants, but if we’ve got it – we like to flaunt it too! However, there are risks to getting back to nature so closely. You gotta watch out for sharp edges!

Mr Plant Geek’s guide to the most nudity-friendly plants you can grow!

 


Senecio ‘Angel Wings’

A really new plant with an incredibly soft texture, you’ll have no problem working with this Senecio if you’re looking to strike a pose. This plant is excellent for growing indoors or out, and this silver sheen has become super trendy for bouquets too. Leaves get much bigger than six inches in diameter, so should be perfect for everyone to pose with! And, try not to worry too much if you find your guests inadvertently stroking its leaves.


Thornless Roses

If you’re looking to move things outside, there are some less prickly Roses to choose from. They’re also a wise choice for outdoor seating or dining areas! So if you want to enjoy that fragrance but without the risk, a thornless rose may be for you. It’ll also be easier to carry between your teeth!


Chamomile Lawns

Now, this is really sensual. Imagine laying on chamomile for your next hot shot. We all like to feel like we’re in a Renaissance painting every now and then, and a chamomile lawn is the perfect backdrop! It really is the lower maintenance sister of grass, chamomile lawn is easy to grow and perfectly suits areas with light foot traffic. If you’re planning on doing a bit of sunbathing (please wear sunscreen!), this is the ideal place to do it too. It’s soft and bouncy, providing a natural cushion for tired naked gardeners!


The Classic Fig

Ahh, the classic fig. Make a biblical impression just like Adam and Eve with Ficus carica leaves. The leaves of the fig plant are large (enough) and provide plenty of coverage – just in case. Easy to grow, fig trees produce a delicious, juicy fruit which may or may not look like the monster in Stranger Things when cut open. I’ll leave that up to you.


The Cactus

Who can resist that classic shot of straddling a columnar cactus? However, this is fraught with risk!!! Opt for a softer landing with “cactus” such as Euphorbia ingens (the original Cowboy Cactus!), which has much less obvious spines! Make sure your plant is stable though, if you’re gonna ride a cactus, you gotta do it right!


While we’re on the subject of posing, I wonder if you’re planning to celebrate World Naked Gardening Day on the first Saturday of May?

By following my nudity-friendly plant guides, you can get out there and enjoy gardening in its most natural form, without worrying about stray pricks or stingers!


WRITTEN BY:

Michael Perry

Mr Plant Geek is the alter-ego of horticultural expert Michael Perry. Gardening since he was just 5 years old, he was a 'hortpreneur' from his teen years, selling herbs by mail order in the UK. His long career in the industry has included developing more than 250 new plants and concepts for gardens. Now a TV Presenter, Lecturer and Social Media expert, he shares his plant findings from around the world every day. He is also team captain of the Grubby Gardeners, a team of 'filthy horts' who have starred in 3 editions of a naked calendar for charity!

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